Nothing Breaks like a Heart

Recently I have lost my job (don’t worry, I’ve already got a new job that is WAY BETTER AND WAY MORE EXCITING AND RELEVANT TO MY ACTUAL LIFE!!) and it has presented me with the opportunity to take this next month become more active online.  My Instagram is always poppin’, but sometimes I forget that people really like to hear me sing.  After all, that is the main reason why people follow me, right?

Within the last few weeks I’ve posted two Christmas songs, but today I thought I’d change it up and cover one of the greatest songs that Miley has ever come out with.  Of course, Mark Ronson is my dream to work with – so all respects given, I had to do this song.  This is not something I’d normally sing so it was extremely enjoyable to explore new elements of my voice while recording this song.

As for the actual meaning of the song, Miley mentioned on Jimmy Fallon that she wanted to have a political drive to this song, an actual purpose.  It definitely runs deep in this song, as well as in the music video.  Once hearing this, my connection grew even stronger for the song.

It’s true.  The lyric below reflects the beauty of the writing:

This world can hurt you
It cuts you deep and leaves a scar
Things fall apart, but nothing breaks like a heart.

Words like these, so simple yet so meaningful – truly powerful.  This is why it was important for me to cover this song.  Previously, covers were really not something I enjoyed to do.  Of course singing any music is fun – but for some reason I had closed myself off and felt like I should just stick to my own original music.  I then came to a realization that the cool thing about covering others songs is putting your own perspective on it, which not only allows you to feel the meaning of the song in your own shoes, but it also allows you to expand your talents as an artist which should always be taken as a gift and an opportunity.

As for the rest of my life/music career – as I advised you above, I lost my job last Monday and at first, I was extremely devastated.  It was the first job that I had held for more than a year other than Music (artist life) and I was extremely comfortable in the position, though I did hate it.  Every day was a depressing day.  The only thing that made it remotely enjoyable were the friends I made during my time there.  When I first got fired I cried for about 10-15 minutes to my mom on the phone and then I said hold up, wait.  What the hell am I crying for?  I’ve wanted to leave this job since I’ve started this job and never had the courage to do so as I was so set in my ways.  I got so comfortable that I was even allowing the job to harm my music career.  I would come home every day and not even want to bother writing a song, ect. due to the fact that I was so worn out from talking to rude people all day (call centre job).  I truly allowed this job to weigh me down for over a year!! What the hell!!!!!!!  So – within 12 hours, I had an interview for another position, of which I thought was just another crappy call centre job… turns out its FAR FROM IT!!  I successfully was hired and will be starting January 7th.  I can’t say much about the actual position, but lets just say I’ll be working for a social media giant and I am BEYOND blessed.  Not only is music my entire world, but social media is a strong passion and interest of mine – so to go to work every day and work in this field, it blows my mind.  I am so grateful.  Not only will I enjoy the job in and of itself, but I will be able to apply tools from the job into my own social media campaigns/music career.  I got so lucky!!  I truly do believe that everything happens for a reason.  This last week has been proof of that.

So with that – what can you expect from me in the coming weeks/months?  Well, I am not resting until I finally get an EP out this year.  It has been a gruelling process of back and forth with producers, A&R reps, session players, Engineers and more.  I have been offered some deals that truly just don’t make sense, and I’ve been offered deals that make sense but not for right now, most likely for in the future.  It can become very frustrating.  I have even tried to produce my own music so I can just release an EP without having to work with anyone… but the sound I want just isn’t coming through.  I will keep at it, but I really want to be in the studio with someone who knows what they are doing.  I have it all planned out, I just need to find someone who I can trust and doesn’t just want my money.  The industry is an amazing place, but its also a rough place.  It’s all a game and if you don’t play it right, you can go thousands of dollars in the hole.  That is something I refuse to let happen to myself.  I am too smart for that.

At this time, I will continue to write music — visit my family for Christmas — write out my five year plan and begin executing it.  This is my current short term goal.  Something that is way more attainable.

I don’t want to tell you all that I’ll be releasing my EP within the coming months, because if you’ve been following me – I’ve been saying that for two years and we still don’t have an EP.  There have been so many ups and downs both in life and in my career, I just don’t want to release something that doesn’t mean anything to me.  It is so important for me to be in love with my debut project.  I can’t just throw something together and put it out just for the sake of having material out there.  I wont allow it.

With that, I thank you all for sticking with me.  The EP will happen oh, so soon – I just need the right people in my circle.  I am on my way to this as we speak.  I can happily say that I am finally in a place where I know which direction to turn.

I hope you have a wonderful Holiday filled with love, family & GREAT FOOD!! ❤

Much love,
Lindsay

 

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HONEY JAM 2018!

By Lunn Photography
By Lunn Photography

With summer finally here and Honey Jam auditions around the corner, I thought I ought to write a blog giving thanks to the organization that helped me gain my footing in Ontario when I first moved here.

I officially moved here a year ago and I was completely distraught.  I had left my band, my friends, my family, everything was gone.  It was just me, my guitar and the massive province that is Ontario.  Compared to Nova Scotia, Ontario was definitely no small feat and I felt like I had made a big mistake.  My band was finally starting to get recognition in Halifax and I left all of it to move here, where no one had a sweet clue who I was.  I became depressed, very quickly.  I’ll be honest.  I was not doing well.  I didn’t get a job for an entire month, it was not looking good.  I couldn’t believe that I was here, I actually did it.  It had been a dream of mine to move to Ontario since I was 10 years old, but why did it seem so awful when it finally happened?  I had gotten here on the skin of my teeth, yet I wasn’t grateful.  I was angry.  I was so angry that I made the relationships worse with my bandmates back in Halifax.  They continued to do their music with others and I continued to get more and more angry… losing them even more than I already had.  I was truly a mess and on a downward spiral.

Then, one day I was laying in my bed being my ole depressed self… when Honey Jam liked one of my photos on Instagram.  I thought it was just one of those spam accounts, but upon looking into it I realized that it was totally valid, as well as I remembered that Reeny Smith (artist from NS) had been a part of it last year.

This was the beginning.  I went into Toronto for the auditions and was the 4th person in line.  I got there so early that I even went across the street to busk and made about $40 while waiting for auditions to begin.  I was so nervous, I couldn’t believe how nervous I was.  I’ve been doing this performing thing for a long time… so getting on stage to sing is actually more comfortable to me than interacting with people at a face-to-face level.  But this was different.  I hadn’t done any type of competition in years (since The Next Star LOL)… so this truly was a feeling that I had forgotten.  My number is called and I’m actually shaking, it kind of felt nice to feel that nervousness again.  I play my tune that I wrote about leaving my band “Just to Have You With Me”.  I get 60 seconds to make an impression and of course, my guitar that I had just rented wont come through the sound system.  So, we end up putting it to a mic which totally made me more nervous because I like to move when I play – either way – I got through the song and felt like I did a shit job.  I left the audition thinking that there was no way this was going to happen for me.

Time went on and it was definitely in the back of my mind, but I truly thought I bombed the audition.  At this point I had finally gotten a job and while sitting in my training class at work, I get a call from a Toronto number.  I lean down under my desk and answer the call from Ebonnie Rowe.  She advises me that I am one of the selected artists for the 2017 Honey Jam Showcase!  I immediately ran out of the training class and called about 10 people in my family to tell them.  I felt like I was finally doing something again, something that actually meant something to me.

Throughout the next 3 months, I am in and out of Toronto attending workshops, speaking sessions, visiting the google/youtube offices.  I was spending time doing things that I actually wanted to do.  It was amazing.  Throughout the entire experience, I was also making friends who I am still in contact with today.

I may not be a part of the Showcase this year as an Artist, but I am putting as many volunteer hours as I can into Honey Jam because it gave me the chance to feel comfortable within myself as an artist, it lit a fire under my ass, it also allowed me to realize that you don’t need to constantly be competing with other artists.  You need to be a team and work together to lift each other up.

I am writing this blog today in hopes of inspiring other female artists under 25 to audition for this years HONEY JAM SHOWCASE!!  Head to HONEYJAM.COM to apply!  If you aren’t within Ontario, don’t worry!  You can send your application in online with a video!  APPLY HERE!

I hope to see you around this year for all of the amazing Honey Jam events!

With that, here are some highlights from last year:

Ain’t No Sunshine

I don’t think we have to worry about there being no Sunshine as spring/summer is quickly approaching which means festival season is ON THE GO!!

lindsayinthesoilI will be performing @ In The Soil Festival in Downtown St. Catharines on April 28th at The Warehouse Concert Hall with RHYME RUNNERS & JACK SHITT.  I actually just discovered the artists I will be playing this show with and I am BEYOND excited as I’ve never played a show with Hip Hop artists before.  This is the most amazing match and I know this show is going to be killer.  Please head HERE for more info on the show.

 

I will also be playing @ STONE SOUP STOCK Presented by the 50th Niagara Folk Arts Festival on May 4th in downtown St. Catharines!  I had the honour and pleasure of coordinating the music for this event and it’s going to be a true PARTY of local music featuring Theatre Crisp, J.I.N, Limestone Chorus, Katey Gatta & The Midnight Sons!
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Making Moves.

The last few months have been an interesting time for me.  I have been caught in the middle of so many personal life questions that it was easy to find myself distraught.  Coming from a life of constant music and devotion to my band, to what felt like a complete restart in Ontario was hard for me.  It still can be challenging, but I have accepted this new challenge at this point and it only becomes more and more exciting.

I have taken a small break from gigging the last few months because I really wanted to focus on planning and properly executing my next moves.  It has taken me a while to realize what exactly it was that I wanted to do next, and how to really mean it.  Of course, my EP is something that is at the forefront, but I need more knowledge and wisdom in my life.  I need to create opportunities for myself to play a role, to network, to help others like I hoped for people to help me when I was practicing my ass off and applying for festivals.

As some of you may know, I took on the role of Social Media Coordinator for The Carmel Fine Art & Music Festival in November.  This was a huge excitement for me because I’ve never had the experience of being part of an actual board.  I’ve shadowed festival producers before, but never was I an integral part of an event such as this.  I worked on this for a few months, but the Festival President, the Festival Administrator and I soon came to realize that Social Media wasn’t exactly my strength.  Though I’ve been doing great at my own social media for years, there were a lot of things that I didn’t know when it came to promoting something that I hadn’t nipped away on for years.  Of course, I was always willing to learn and did my best – but the passion just wasn’t there, and they recognized where my passion truly belonged, and did something about it.

The position for Music Coordinator happened to open up a few weeks ago, and though I was tempted to apply for it, I didn’t want to commit to another huge task and not be able to execute it properly.  Luckily enough, a new, intelligent woman came onto the board as Web designer, but she had more talents.  She has gone to school and has real experience with social media and promotions, along with web design.  It seemed as if the universe had heard my prayers, and I have now been offered the position as Music Coordinator for the 2018 Carmel Fine Art & Music Festival.  I am so honoured and I feel blessed.  This is a position that I’ve always wanted, and it begins now.

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I now have the opportunity to directly work with the musicians that I will be able to bring into the festival this year.  I am so excited to hear all of the amazing submissions, and I look forward to meeting all of the artists who will be a part of our event.

This is the position I have always been meant for.  My entire music career so far, I’ve dreamed of creating and hosting a festival.  This is the first step in gaining knowledge and experience in how to do so.  Being behind the scenes in this way gives me a new perspective on my career, and allows me to realize yet again how important it is to have yourself in every corner possible so that when the time comes, you can do it all.  You’ve got every skill and every talent in your field, and you will be the person people call on to make moves happen, as well as you will be able to call on yourself to make your own moves happen.  That is what you want to be, a Boss.

 

folks.pngI will also be helping to create one of the Friday night events for the 2018 Niagara Folk  Arts Festival in St. Catharines.  An amazing woman named Rhiannon who is also on the board with me for the Carmel Fine Art & Music Festival works with the Arts & Multiculturalism Organization in St. Catharines and has gracefully invited me to assist her in creating an amazing Friday night for their 50th Folk Art Festival.  The Festival will run from May 3rd-27th and I will also be performing on the selected Friday evening.  More details to come soon.

It is all coming together for me now.  I am starting to realize that I absolutely do have the assist in creating amazing festivals and other events.  The more experience I gain, the more knowledge I will have and right now, that is my main goal.

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Along with that exciting news, I also have a gig coming up this week at one of Niagara Regions best venues, Warehouse.  I will be opening the show for local St. Catharines bands J.I.N and Strange Love.  Both bands have a beautiful sound and I am grateful to be in such a beautiful venue with musicians who just simply love what they do, and are good at it too.  The venue owner Erik is also a great guy in the Niagara Music scene who I can tell has a great mind and I look forward to learning from him.  To all my bands coming from out of town, Warehouse is the venue you want to play.

I also want to put a huge shout out out there to Deanna from In the Soil Arts Festival here in St. Catharines.  I applied for this festival months ago, but I had no idea that I had been accepted to play.  Deanna has been messaging me since December 13th.  Yes folks – that is almost 3 full months that have gone by that I have not replied to her messages.  For some reason, I hadn’t received a single one of the three messages she had sent me asking for my confirmation to play.  She sent me a final fourth message from a different email and I finally received it last Thursday.  Mike ArcherI was so honoured that someone had put that much effort in to have me play in their festival.  I have never experienced that before, and it humbled me.  It also made me realize the kind of Music Coordinator I will be when I really believe in the talent of an artist.  To me, her reaching out in such a manner goes further than the original acceptance to the festival.  At this point, I feel like there are people who have never even met me, who have never seen me perform live that see something special in me that they know they would like to experience and bring into their event.  It is the biggest honour to be sought after, and I think that this is a great start.

I am grateful for where I’m at right now.  Looking back a year ago, I couldn’t have imagined myself in this position.  Every day I still miss my band more than words can describe, but if I fill my time with positive things and helping others in the Music Industry, along with myself – I know that someday the pain of not being with my band wont be so strong anymore, and I’ll truly know that I’ve done the right thing in focusing on myself first.

Love Always,
Lindsay

 

2018, I’m ready for you.

26229409_1747165552024702_1340964824421434116_n.jpgThe photo above is an iphone snapshot from the most recent photoshoot I did with Sarah Davison.  The official photos will be coming soon and I am very excited to share them with you all.  Sarah has been my photographer pretty well my whole career.  She knows my angles well and I feel very comfortable with her.  It is always a joy to work with her.

At the moment, I am currently taking it easy on the gigging side of things.  I realized that I really needed to take time to focus on my EP, but also to focus on other things in life that I need to get done so that I can sustainably live off of music in the near future.  There comes a point in every musicians life when they need to really weigh out the pro’s and con’s of trying to be a full time musician.  Sometimes, we have to make the choice to rest on it for a while and work what I like to call a “normal person job”, save up money, and then reinvest that money into your career.  It can be very hard, stressful, depressing, and honestly – make you feel like you are selling your soul to the devil.  It is really hard to be an artist and know at this current time, you just cannot live off of your art.  You know that soon you will, but you do need to make income from another source and that is just the way it is sometimes.  For years I battled with depression in relation to this.  I allowed myself to feel like being a musician was a burden.  I “didn’t have a choice”.  I was “born this way”.  It’s true, I don’t have a choice and I was born this way.  Being a musician is all I know, it is who I am, it always has been – but the thing is… it is always going to be there.  There is this constant pressure to be famous.  People say to me “Well if you’re not famous by the time you’re 25, you might as well just give up and do something different.”  At this point in my life, I’ve finally taken a step back, realized all of my accomplishments thus far and I say hey – I deserve a moment to just get my life together outside of my music career and then come back full force.  And it’s not like I’m still not working on my music.  I am currently in the process of my debut solo EP and doing very well with it, and I am also the Social Media Coordinator for a festival in Niagara Falls called The Carmel Fine Art & Music Festival.  I am still very busy and immersed in the music culture – I’m just not playing gigs at the moment.  Before, I would have felt like I was a failure.  I used to play no less than three gigs a month with the band.  But now… I realize that yeah, gigging is amazing and great – but my god if my life isn’t stable on the outside of those gigs, the gigs just become torture.  They aren’t enjoyable, they never pay enough to be enjoyable, and I’d rather be spending my time working on my EP or building my arts resume by working with the Carmel festival.  I’ve been gigging non stop for three years.  At this point, I think its very important for me to get behind the scenes a little more and create plans, goals – create more opportunities for myself through working really really hard on things that I haven’t done before.  And that is what I am doing right now.  I am working my ass off to become more knowledgable in all aspects of the music industry, instead of just performance.  I’ve got that down pat.  I’m a great performer and I know it.  Of course I’ve got a lot to learn – but what I really need to focus on is handling my career as my own personal business manager.  I’ve been great at creating a brand for myself thus far, but I really need to start pushing that further and breaking boundaries.

So, if you’re interested in knowing where  I’ve been over the last few months – that is where.  Of course I’ve never stopped posting, ect. – but when it comes to content & gigs – I am working my ass off to give you all the BEST content you’ve EVER heard from me.  Content that will move the mountains in the rockies and blast your spotify’s, itunes & radios so loudly and proudly that you’d wished I hadn’t taken so much time to really focus and make my music and knowledge what it needs to be.  Just kidding, you’ll be grateful that I did because this EP is going to be something that no one will ever expect from me.  I am breaking down walls I didn’t know I had, I am speaking truths that I know more than many can relate to – this is so real.  So please, bare with me as I make it the best release of all time.

I love you,
Lindsay